He’s been circling the same thought for weeks now. What if he did what wasn’t expected of him?
It sits in the back of his mind when the house is quiet. He knows what people would say, how they’d react, what it would cost. He’s played the scenes over and over. The judgment. The shock. The fallout. But the idea still lingers.
He wishes something outside himself would shift first. A sign, a push, a reason strong enough to justify the move. Anything that would let him believe it wasn’t his decision alone. But it never comes. It’s always just him, thinking, waiting, imagining.
Lately, he’s been trying to calculate how it could work. How he could give what’s expected, maintain what’s required, and still reach for what he actually wants. He almost convinces himself it’s possible. The thought feels like air for a moment, like maybe he could breathe again if he just took the risk.
But then reality starts to set back in. Hope turns heavy. He reminds himself why it can’t happen, not now, maybe not ever.
So he stays where he is, doing what’s expected. And the thought, the one he won’t act on, stays too...